I was walking down KH alone without my good pal Craig. The bus was late to pick me up. I was scared like shitting my pants as I entered Costa to receive free WI-FI. I was like "Yo Gok wan wanna chill & have a coffee?" Craig's voice became all distorted on the phone. I was fucking scared, and my phone exploded as everyone looked at me like I was a Zong. Just as I went to baby sip my coffee I could not believe that the man outside had ZibZob eyes. I was once told by a wise Sid that I will not be that one today, but I'll be that one tomorrow. No longer working at the paper shop or tossing notes out with Emma. No longer taking bets, I was fucking afraid of being in Costa ALONE. I called 999 on my spare Samdsung drug dealer phone and shouted: "Adam or Ambulance, please help me, Adam or Ambulance".
Craig spooked me when he turned up at the glass door, I was shaking and he offered me a Relentless Energy drink. We both took small man sips and wondered when Adam would show. just as I witnessed a flying eggman outside my window, I told Hard Man Craig that I could not take this anymore. This fucking KH shit was impossible to handle. Using my small man boots I kicked the door open. Craig had gotten me a large soup hot chocolate and I thanked him with 'ZF' texted to his big man phone. Two blondes came in and we couldn't believe that they had stalked us. I was like "Yo Gok Wan wanna netflix n' chill?' They were like you 'creep' stop DMing me about Adam's party. I just replied with 'Hi' and walked off with my slender neck hanging down like a fucking little snake.
Just as I thought I had seen it all, Eggman Andy bombed us in Costa. Craig whispered it would be all over soon. I nodded and waited for Adam to show. Just before I could blink, Adam booted the door down and entered the Costa establishment with his fucking man mans money. He said whop your wad, whop your wad on the counter. Just as we witnessed a strange man's events. Craig's eyes were missing, two red shiny circles now in the black holes of his eye sockets. He said to me "Why you off the radar" and I fucking exploded. Adam asked for a spar and ended small man luke's 9 lives. Just before he could stand up again, Craig delivered the final blow. All it took was a small punch and he folded over like paper. No longer alive I am somehow writing this from the dead. Now witnessing Craig's ongoing terror where he spooks people in the night.
Beware of static, or you may be killed by buzzsaw
THE END